Love is blind... but science isn't!

Shakespeare said that love is blind. He was right. Research shows that people in love pay much less visual attention to attractive people than singles.

Jon Maner and colleagues, based at Florida State University, have been testing the theory on students. He said, "We found that when people just thought about being in love with their current partner, their visual attention got repelled, rather than grabbed, by an attractive member of the opposite sex,"

It's true. I'm in love, and I only have eyes for my lover. Everyone else pales into insignificance... even Jonny Depp, and that's going some! The last thing on my mind is looking for someone else.

Maner and his team believe this phenomenum might help explain why people who are in love don't tend to wander off in search of other mates. Joseph Forgas at the University of New South Wales commented, "Psychologists have long had a problem explaining the functions of romantic love: a very strong emotion that sometimes seems to take over our lives and lead to what appear to be irrational feelings and actions. What these studies suggest is that romantic love serves a very important function, tempering our natural desire to pay attention to, and to continuously seek out, the best available mate."

In other words, we've probably evolved this subconscious visual rejection of attractive potential partners because committed relationships give our children a big evolutionary advantage. As humans evolved over the millennia, long term monogamous relationships improved the chances that children would make it to adulthood. The strong - the children of monogamous parents - survived and carried on a tradition that eventually became hard wired into our subconscious.

Love is blind... but science certainly isn't!

Another lonely Valentine's Day?

If you've just spent another Valentine's Day on your own, it's time to take action.

Having a life partner to love, and who loves you, is the icing on the cake. Life can be perfectly pleasant and enjoyable without a partner. But having someone to share life's excitement and adventures is worth putting in the effort. So don't give up!

As a professional it isn't always easy to get out and about and meet new people. Take Laura, for instance.

"I live in Hastings and work in The City. I get up at half past five and I'm on the train by seven fifteen in the morning. I reach my office around eight thirty and I work through 'til half five. Then I do it all again in reverse, getting home about eight thirty pm."

"I spend most weekends catching up on shopping and housework, and a lot of the time I'm too tired to go out. For me, with my lifestyle, making the time to find true love through the usual channels is virtually impossible".

"I just don't have time or inclination to hit the pubs and clubs. And even if I did, pubs and clubs aren't always the best place to find the love of your life!"

"Some of the people I work with date their colleagues. Which seems a bit desperate to me... the last thing I want is to spend all my free time talking about work."

Professionals like Laura prefer the TopMatch route, where personal dating services and online dating meet in powerful combination.

"It's the perfect online/offline compromise" says Laura. "There's an excellent website to explore, with an exciting Member Gallery and a healthy stream of special offers, profiles, photos, videos and all sorts of interesting stuff. I can sit down at home in the evening, in comfort, and explore the matches in my area that might suit me."

"Then there's the person-to-person bit. I have my own TopMatch personal dating consultant who is dedicated to finding my perfect match. We've met and talked, and she helped me create a really strong profile. She's a great help and it makes a huge difference having a human being on your side as well as website access and some serious technology!"

So how's it going for Laura so far?

"I've met seven really lovely men so far. One of them had my knees seriously trembling. We've decided we'd like to meet again for a second date, to see if it feels so good the second time around!" she says. "my personal dating consultant is really pleased and excited. So am I!"

Don't do things by halves. Why have second best when you can have the very best? Visit TopMatch for full details...

Animations make choosing the best dating service easy!

Top dating franchise TopMatch International is pulling out all the stops for members with animated videos.

Do you like reading pages of text or are you more of a visual person? Do you take information in better when you hear it?

People absorb information in different ways. A proportion of us like to read new information before making a buying decision. Others are very visual, establishing key facts from images. Listening is a favourite learning style for many but a combination of sound and pictures appeals directly and immediately to a very wide range of people.

Which is why TopMatch has created two new animated videos to help get the message across to more and more people looking for love.

Video number one makes it very clear that unlike other dating sites, TopMatch's in-depth vetting process means the people you meet are who they say they are. The message, couched in humour, is clear and strong... if you're worried about encountering fraudsters and liars while dating online you won't find any here! If you're concerned, it'll deliver enough reassurance to help tip the balance. You'll be completely safe at TopMatch!

TopMatch's second clip explains the different types of membership, premier and express. Express membership appeals strongly to male members, who love the informality of express membership and tend to upgrade to premier membership at a later stage. By contrast, the majority of women go straight for premier cover because it is so comprehensive and comes with so many exciting extras.

If you're lost in the dating maze, take a look at these two clips... deciding needn't be such a problem after all!

'Love chemical' stimulates relationships!

Apparently a chemical that helps cement the bond between mothers and newborn children might also be involved with choosing Miss or Mr right!

A recent piece of research shows that people who inhale the hormone oxytocin, a chemical we all have in our blood, find strangers more attractive. According to Angeliki Theodoridou, who works as a psychologist at the University of Bristol, it makes us see people in a much more positive light. Even if we've never met them.

A previous study has already found that levels of a mother's oxytocin rise dramatically when they touch - or even just look at - their new babies, and scientists are convinced it helps with mother and child bonding.

Other studies have indicated oxytocin also plays an interesting role in people's social lives, helping them with social situations later in life, as an adult. When given the hormone people made overly generous offers when playing a special money-based game designed to promote trust.

The latest research indicated that men and women, no matter what mood they were in, rated strangers as more attractive and trustworthy when they'd taken oxytocin compared to people who'd been given a placebo.

While the study didn't look at how oxytocin affects peoples' social judgements, the scientists involved are exploring whether it dampens down brain activity in the amygdala, the part of your brain that processes fear and related emotions. We'll have to wait and see.

What's the moral of the tale? Isn't it nice to know that your body's chemistry is working away in the background, quietly on your behalf, to help you find love. How clever is that! No matter what your head's telling you, your body is on constant alert for your ideal life partner.

Can you buy oxytocin? Yes, some unscrupulous companies are already marketing sprays that they claim can help enhance reserved people's trust in strangers. But there's absolutely no evidence that these products work. And the scientists who undertook the study refuse to endorse their claims. Not to be trifled with!

In the meantime, trust yourself. He or she is out there. You'll find them, or they'll find you. You have a powerful ally... your body's on your side!

New Year resolution: find my perfect partner!

It's a new year and a new decade. The ideal time to start fresh, open up new horizons and take big, bold steps towards happiness.

Life as a professional single person is great, but having someone to love is the icing on the cake.

Are you determined to find your perfect partner in 2010? If so, dating website TopMatch is a brilliant place to be. Why? They've launched a new service that's taking their members by storm: personal video profiles.

TopMatch research showed that most people don't feel comfortable being filmed. Even fewer people are prepared to blow their own trumpets in public. Most of us are pretty modest when it comes down to it. But video is such a fantastic medium for showcasing your assets.

The solution? TopMatch's personal videos are based on members' online profiles. How? They use an exciting combination of images, photos and music to create an evocative, fun, informal 60 second showreel-style video.

We asked one member what they thought about their video. She said, "I love my personal video profile. OK, I'd given loads of details for my written profile and it sounded really good. But my video made the whole thing sparkle. TopMatch wrote a professional script, which was read by a professional voice over artist, and their production team created this brilliant little clip all about me. I didn't have to do a thing, which was a relief. I'm a confident person but having to sit and blurb on about how amazing I am would have been really embarrassing!"

A personal video is a great way to give people a genuine feel for what you're really like. They're professionally produced, colourful and lively. All in all, they come highly recommended!

Here's a link: TopMatch personal video profiles

Should you marry your first love?

Your heart is pounding. You can't think straight.

The only thing on your mind is the wonderful, amazing person you've met. You can't keep your hands off each other. You spend hours just staring into one another's eyes. The chemistry is breathtaking. You're head over heels in love.

This is the person you've been waiting for... your first love. You've found your life partner. Or have you?

First love is a tricky beast. Scientists have proved that the feelings we experience when in love are generated by hormones and chemicals.

When we're young and in love for the first time, whether we're conscious of it or not, our bodies are hell bent on procreation. You might think you've fallen in love with a person. But you've actually fallen in love with the way they smell!

Humans are attracted to people whose immune systems are very different from their own. This ensures our offspring are genetically strong. And, on a subconscious level, we can smell the difference.

From then on our body chemistry relentlessly keeps up the pressure. And it works. Most people who marry their first love obediently have children as soon as they can possibly manage it!

But once that magical 'pure love' phase has passed, as it always does, what are you left with? No longer blinded by all-encompassing lust, do you have anything in common?

In many relationships, this is where the problems start.

If you're currently in a deep state of love and lust, experiencing the first flush of your first love, good for you. Have a lovely, lovely time. But think twice before making your first love your life partner.

A few fortunate people stay with their first love for the rest of their lives. But most of us find that once the glow wears off, there just isn't enough left to sustain a marriage.

Later loves and second marriages seem to have a better chance of survival. You're older and hopefully wiser. You've probably fulfilled the overwhelming physical need to have children (if you ever had it!). You realise there's much more to love than lust; things like friendship, shared values, intelligence, humour... all the day to day stuff.

Perhaps not as exciting as the rollercoaster ride of your first love, but much more enduring.

Looking for the perfect woman? Forget dating sites!

Are you looking for your perfect match? Frustrated that you can’t seem to find a generous, loving, warm, clever, funny woman?

No wonder. You've got it all wrong. You've been trying to find your dream woman through online dating sites.

But...

No buts! Dating sites are dodgy ground. Think about it. You can type in anything you like. The average dating site profile isn't much more than a listing. You can lie until you're blue in the face and nobody checks.

OK, so you're actually an accountant. But you've joined so many dating sites you've lost count. On one of them you're a seven foot astronaut with a great sense of humour and no kids. On another you're earning a cool hundred and fifty thousand a year, posing around in a Ferrari. And you're sure you remember signing up somewhere new as a professional footballer. Oops.

This is all great fun. But it won't get you anywhere. Women like honesty and they hate being messed around. If you lie on your profile, as far as she's concerned you'll probably lie about everything else too. Keep it up and they'll stay away in droves.

Even worse, one of the biggest reasons women choose online dating sites is because they're short of time. The last thing they need is you wasting precious spare time claiming to be something you're not.

Most women want someone who is confident, not afraid of commitment, with a sense of purpose. But the biggest quality of all is honesty. It wins hands down.

Take it from me, most women would prefer an honest, straightforward, kind bloke with a beaten up VW Beetle than a liar with a Porche.

As a result there's a glut of men on most dating sites. The women are jumping ship, and who can blame them? But all is not lost...

One dating site verifies, interviews and checks all its members. So what you see is what you get. Women love it because they know they're getting exactly what it says on the tin. Men love it because... well, there are plenty of women there!

If you're serious about finding the perfect woman, tell the truth. The real you is probably exactly what she wants. Bite the bullet, head over to TopMatch and check out their membership options. You can even pay as you date!

Women Are Doing it For Themselves!

The ladies are taking control, insisting on 'next generation online dating...

Can you remember the nervous excitement and butterflies in your stomach the last time you prepared for a first date? Or laughed so much together that you couldn’t stop?

This is what most women dream about when thinking about their ideal date. Candle-lit dinners. Walking hand in hand along the beach with the surf softly beating the sand. And a perfectly romantic proposal.

So do most online dating sites deliver? No!

Too much of the time you'll find that your date has lied. They don't look anything like their picture, they don't have that great job and they're... well, just a bit weird! A waste of time, effort and dreams!

Women are tired of getting burned. So they’re taking control of their online dating experience.

Ignoring well-meaning advice from friends and family. How many times has your mum or best friend told you, “Don’t worry, it'll happen when you least expect it” or “If you stop looking, love will come to you”? In other words, give up and act passively. That one's up to you... ignore them and get moving!

Finding a dating site that filters out all those Mr. Wrongs before they hit the first post – letting someone trustworthy screen potential matches for them - a thorough interview, a full identity check and recent photos.

Tp Match provides a professional relationship specialist dedicated to finding your ideal partner. They hand select dates for you, to your specific requirements, using their expert objectivity to make sound decisions.

Best of all, can even join with a friend via Top Match's special 2 for 1 offer on Premier membership. Cool!

• 2 Memberships for thePrice of 1


• 'next generation' online dating


• secure and discreet


• 100% genuine candidates


• free joint consultation


• totally unique to Top Match

If you’re tired of the games, tired of lies and tired of hassle, it’s time to take control of your dating life. To sign up for a FREE no-obligation phone consultation, visit http://www.topmatch-uk.com/ or call XXXXXX today.

Use Your Business Savvy to Find Your Perfect Partner!

You're a successful person. You didn’t get where you are by mistake. It took hard work. Lots of it.

Aren't you fortunate? You've got everything you've ever dreamed of... except your perfect partner. Why? Probably because you're so busy. How ironic!

Perhaps you've tried online dating sites. They obviously didn't do the trick or you wouldn't be here. Perhaps you've struggled to bars and pubs, tired after a hard week's work, in the hope of coincidentally running into someone special. Perhaps you've even resorted to blind dates... most of which were doomed from the start!

It's a familiar tale to company director Alistair S. His work was so all-consuming that he simply couldn't fit dating in. “I worked 14-hour days and returned home too shattered to make the effort. I didn't even have time to think about it, never mind do it!”

You know what you want. Here's how to find it.

Alistair knew what he wanted. He just didn’t have the time or energy to find it. But then he made a huge discovery. He found a way to put his business savvy to work to improve his personal life.

How?

The same way any savvy business executive would. He outsourced it.

Think about it. In business, when something needs to get done that your company can't do, or doesn't have time to focus on, you outsource it. You hire an external expert to do the work for you.

Outsourcing makes just as much sense with your dating life

Outsource your love life to an expert – get a strategic dating partner! Where? At Top Match - they specialise in finding the perfect relationship for busy executives like you.

“When I heard about TopMatch it just made so much sense.” says Alistair. “I realised that letting someone else make all the arrangements for me would be the perfect solution, so I outsourced the lot to my local Top Match dating consultant... then waited to see what'd happen. It worked so well I wish I'd made the business / personal outsourcing connection earlier!”

Today, Alastair's life has changed completely. He's engaged to his perfect partner he's delighted he chose a pro to do all the legwork for him.

Test drive Top Match now and feel the difference!

Sounds good? Then why not outsource your dating to TopMatch. Your personal Dating Consultant will hand pick every introduction based on an exhaustive range of compatibility factors. In fact most clients usually find their first date within 48 hours of joining, based on their personal expectations and standards.

Why settle for less? Call Top-Match today on 08707 203 272 or visit

http://www.topmatch-uk.com/ to find out more!

Chat up lines... what do women REALLY think?

In an advert on TV at the moment a young man in a pub, short of a suitable chat up line, gets loads of ideas by texting his mates. But do men really use chat up lines? And does 'chatting up' work?

Most chat up lines are desperately cheesy. Some are hilariously funny. Others are downright offensive. So what do the ladies say?

Lavinia from Yorkshire insists that chat up lines always put her off. "The thing is, most men only seem to use chat up lines when they're with their friends." she explains. "There's nothing worse than being approached by a bloke who is being watched by a bunch of giggling mates. When he comes out with something lame like I seem to have lost my 'phone number. Can I have yours instead? it's just embarrassing. I feel as though he's taking the mickey out of me, which doesn't exactly encourage me to say yes to a date!"

Other women like chat up lines simply because they're funny. All you have to do is glance at the lonely heart columns in the papers to see that a GSOH -a good sense of humour – comes top of most women's list. Being funny is highly desirable. Very few people are 100% comfortable approaching a stranger they find attractive and humour's a great way to break down barriers.

Susanne from Dublin agrees. “I met my husband in a bar. I wish I could remember his chat up line – it was so long ago – but I do remember it made me literally cry with laughter. It broke the ice and we spent the rest of the evening talking. And laughing... he still makes me howl now, twenty five years later!"

Amber from Poole reckons that anyone who plucks up the courage to approach someone they've never met before deserves credit. "I know the sexes are supposed to be equal these days but it's still mostly down to blokes to do the running.” she says. “If someone comes up to me and delivers the all time cheesiest chat up line I have to admire him. I wouldn't dare do it myself, if the boot was on the other foot."

Offensive chat up lines rarely work. Not many women like being hit with a blatantly sexual – or sexist – chat up line from some stranger, no matter how good looking they are. “It's just nasty” confirms Susanne. "It shows a massive lack of respect and I'd run a mile if anyone tried it on me!"

So be funny, charming and disarming and – under some circumstances - your chat up line might just work. What circumstances? When the lady in question actually fancies you. If she doesn't, even the finest chat up line in the universe probably won't win you a date!