The Romantic Edge

For women especially, the pressure to appear professional and be taken seriously has never been so extreme. With more of us expected to work long hours and network at every opportunity, it’s no wonder finding love can be so tricky. Most of us simply don’t remember how to take our guard down.

In a hectic world, it’s certainly not over the top to approach the search for love somewhat systematically (in fact, at TopMatch we believe that an organised approach to personal introductions is a necessity). However, once you do find yourself out on a date, appearances and efficiency should be able to give way to something softer—vulnerability.

Romance simply can’t be scheduled and filed, but because most of us are programmed to plan and present like professionals, we often try to control love like the rest of our lives. The instinct to prepare is a good one, but to give ourselves that romantic edge we need to re-think our ideas about preparation.

For example, in choosing a restaurant for a business lunch you might use your keen professional eye to select a conveniently located, well-lit café with quick service and portions small enough to be eaten between rounds of brainstorming. How about for a date? Would you select a restaurant using the same standards? Unfortunately, many of us would. In fact, we’d probably choose our outfit the same way—something sophisticated and chic to show good sense and good taste, and our hair up in a bun lest it be tousled by wind. It’s true that accounting for every detail leaves nothing to chance, but it also leaves nothing to romance.

Success is something to be proud of and no woman should feel the need to act like someone they are not. There is no formula for femininity. Wearing a low-cut top to a dimly lit French restaurant won’t get you any closer to a great date if you aren’t comfortable. The real key to opening your softer side is all in the approach. The best dates are fun, not productive or profitable.

Instead of focusing your energy on the success of the date, focus on getting excited to have a great time. Choose a restaurant for its fun atmosphere, not its central location. Put on an outfit that makes you feel good about who you are, not one that makes you look important. The world may be fast and crazy and demanding, but for the sake of a truly romantic evening, the world can wait.

Happy Dating!