Settling Down or Simply Settling?

Flirting, dating, and tearing up the dance floor can be great fun, but there comes a time when nothing seems as attractive as lasting companionship. Marriage, children, and real estate may not be everyone’s ideal, but almost all of us dream of the kind of substantial love that can drive, comfort, and nurture.

Unfortunately, the mounting pressure to get serious about commitment can be staggering—friends, family, society, and even our own partners can lead us to get hasty in our decision making. The choices you make must sincerely come from within, and once you’ve chosen the path to lasting companionship you’ll need a great deal of patience to guide you.

Just burning your little black book of telephone numbers won’t bring love leaping to your lap, and expecting as much may mislead you to mistake lust or friendship for the real deal. If you’re really ready for love, first make a pact with yourself:

I will find the love I deserve.

Now think deeply about how that love will feel. Try dropping superficial prejudices you may have developed over the years like those related to height, hair colour, or profession. Why not trade the trivial criteria for some rock-solid non-negotiables?

My partner will love me and accept my love.

My partner will share my hopes and fears.

My partner will make me laugh.

Setting aside minor preferences and opening your mind to new possibilities will actually help you avoid settling. On the contrary, settling occurs when we hold potential partners up to rigid standards and say no to great opportunities. Likewise, sticking with a partner who isn’t a great fit is a passive way of saying no to the possibility of true love.

Whilst you can’t put a rush on your romantic relationships, you can jumpstart your future by changing the relationship you have with romance. Ask yourself each day if you’ve really done everything in your power to find your perfect partner. What opportunities are there to meet other serious singles? Which chances do you take? Which chances do you ignore?

Respect yourself, believe in others, and take some chances! You’ll be on your way to finding the perfect partner . . . no settling required.