Storybook Romance

Think using a matchmaker will leach the romance from your love life? My friend Marisol did. For years she insisted that, in spite of her oppressive workload and lack of leisure time, she’d find the man of her dreams when the Fates allowed. If Destiny ever intervened though, it did so disappointingly. Lukewarm lunch dates and one dinner invitation from her married accountant weren’t the fantastical love life Marisol had so vividly envisioned.

Because most of us have been brought up on the same myths of fairytale romance, we often assume that love and happiness are more entitlements than achievements. In reality, it is this kind of thinking that actually prevents us from finding that perfect partner. I tried explaining as much to Marisol over lunch six months ago.

“Marisol,” I said, “Let me ask you something. You’ve always been driven to excel in your work and as a result you have your dream job, right?” She nodded. “So why are you hesitant to be equally proactive in your love life?” As usual, she brought up the question of romance.

In truth, I never thought my friend would change her mind. If she wanted to wait on a sweeping storybook romance, I resolved to support her decision. Then, last weekend Marisol called with some news.

“He’s invited me round to his mum’s for Christmas!” Marisol had finally fallen in love. She explained that soon after our last chat, she decided that romance just wasn’t a strong enough reason to hold out any longer. Having decided that using a secure, professional introductions service was a rational solution to her loneliness, she abandoned the idea that real love had to happen like a fairy tale. Ironically, that’s when her once upon a time began.

Within a month, Marisol’s matchmaker proposed an introduction to a man named David. Seeing that they shared many interests, Marisol accepted and met David for dinner, only to find that he had actually been a former schoolmate of hers from university. Just as surprised as she, David told Marisol that he’d always fancied her back in school, but felt too intimidated to ask her for a date.

“It’s like a second chance,” Marisol told me. “He was always right there and I never knew how he felt.” Now that’s romantic!

Remember, Cinderella may have lived happily ever after, but she had to get herself to the ball first. Taking action is just plain practical, and it sometimes leads to great romance.