Too choosy? Take our quiz to find out!

We all deserve to be happy in love, but do you ever wonder if you’re getting in your own way on the road to romance? It’s perfectly natural to be choosy, especially when looking for the real deal. But when does choosy cross into the territory of simply self-defeating? Answer True or False to the questions below and find out.

1. Have you ever broken off a relationship or refused a date solely on the basis that you thought you might be able to do better?

2. Does your idea of Mr. or Mrs. Right include rather specific details like height, income, or favourite football team?

3. Do you turn down more dates than you accept?

4. Will a bad first impression usually put you off of someone permanently?

5. On a first date, are you more likely to remember your date’s horrible wardrobe than your date’s wonderful smile?

6. Do you need more than one hand to count up all your relationship deal-breakers (inflexible standards)?

7. Do you tend to hold a grudge?

8. Have you ever dumped someone simply out of the fear that he or she might dump you first?

9. Do you think you worry a bit much about what others will think of the people you date?

10. Do you often wish your life was more like a movie?

Now give yourself 1 point for every time you answered True.

7-10 Determined Dreamer
You love yourself enough to hope for the best, but have you ever stopped to think you may be missing out? Unless you can say you’re 100% happy with everything about yourself, don’t expect sheer perfection from the people that you meet. Turning down a date with someone nice likely means you’re also turning down a chance to grow. Your determination and high standards probably mean you’ve got a lot of passion to share, so be a bit more flexible and you’ll start to see that opportunity is all around.

4-6 Awaiting Excellence
You may have high standards, but you possess the good judgement to see the chance of a lifetime when it stands before you. Just remember, in real life there’s no instrumental motif to signal when your true love has entered the room. Follow your instincts, but always try to see what makes a person unique. Keep your heart open by seeing the best in others and giving them the chance to see all the wonderful things about you too!

0-3 Merry Mingler
You understand that high standards and an open mind aren’t mutually exclusive. By focusing on what you want in a relationship, rather than in a person, you have a much better sense of how to find lasting love. Too often we keep dating the same kinds of people, even when we know they really aren’t good for us. Lasting partners complement one another as a team, and sometimes it’s hard to predict exactly who will bring out the best in you. Your can-date attitude is something most of us could do with a lot more of.

Now that you’ve put your attitude in check, consider getting really proactive by scheduling a free TopMatch Consultation!

Personal MatchMaking on the rise as Online Dating falters

Online dating may be past its prime, but the Internet may still hold the key to the perfect singles solution!

If you’ve been considering a TopMatch Membership, consider this: whilst many companies are struggling to stay afloat due to the volatile state of our economy, TopMatch is growing rapidly. That’s because our service was developed with singles in mind. We wanted a real solution for real people, and as they say, the proof is in the pudding.

In its infancy, online dating expanded explosively as people were dazzled by its convenience. According to Jupiter Media Metrics, in 2006 visitors to online dating sites increased by 57%, towering over the reported 22% overall growth of the Internet. However, as the number of Internet users has grown steadily each year, the number of mainstream online dating site memberships has stagnated, meaning that proportionally the numbers aren’t what they used to be.

Lots of people have bad experiences with online dating - many report anxiety over flawed security measures, which is particularly troublesome in an increasingly insecure society - and the stories spread. Low success rates overall raise eyebrows about the effectiveness of the services. Unfortunately, vast pools of members are rarely, if ever, evaluated or monitored by human eyes. The unique opportunity for people to pretend they are somebody they're not, leads to misuse by the more unsavoury members of society, causing distress to many users.

What people want is real support - real results. In fact, the traditional matchmaking business is on an upswing, according to a report by the Marketdata Enterprises. The popularity of online dating seems to have drowned out the stigma formerly attached to seeking assisted introductions, and genuine and professional matchmakers can offer a personal touch that most online dating networks can’t get near.

At TopMatch, we saw an easy solution. You get the best of both worlds - the convenience of internet dating technology but with the security, quality and personal touch you'd expect from a high-end introduction agency - all at prices far less than online sites charge.

Our company is built on the founding idea that everyone should be able to afford a convenient, secure, and highly effective singles solution. Perhaps that’s why, whilst many online dating services have reached a dead end, TopMatch is now operating through a dedicated network of Franchisees in 5 countries and growing.

Ask a Top Matchmaker

The conventional wisdom says never to discuss politics, religion, or finances if you want to keep the peace on a first date. Personally, I find strong opinions and spirited discussion to be a turn-on. Must I really avoid these subjects like the plague?

-V in Manchester

Excellent question V. While it’s true that too-strong opinions may make you seem stubborn or abrasive, this trinity of taboos seems a bit outdated. Certainly a lot depends on your expectations, but if you are looking for long-term commitment, these issues will come up along the way. When they do, hopefully you’ll be comfortable and confident enough to speak earnestly, and listen sensitively.

In my experience, there are three far dodgier topics that can do some fairly catastrophic first-date damage: exes, sex, and major complaints. By bringing up an ex (or five), you’re either going to come off as bitter or still hung up on a former flame. Sex, regardless of how relevant is seems in your mind, is rarely appropriate to discuss over a cheese plate. Premature pillow talk can make your date profoundly uncomfortable and will almost certainly make you look ignobly preoccupied. Lastly, filing major complaints about your job, friends, or lifestyle with your date won’t do anything to address your grievances. Complainers are typically difficult-to-please, self-involved, and not very fun to be around.

That said, there are plenty of interesting, safe things to talk about on a first date. If you are politically minded, current events can be a safe way of testing intellectual compatibility. So long as you don’t prod or quiz your date, a little headline recap can be good for sparking a connection. Arts and culture is a great way to go—from Wagner to Winehouse, there’s something for everyone. Favourite travel destinations, hobbies, and future goals are perfect discussions for finding common ground, and asking about friends and family will usually win you sensitivity points. Stay alert and interested, and even the biggest faux pas won’t derail your date.

Need advice? Post your question in the Dating Blog comments!

Settling Down or Simply Settling?

Flirting, dating, and tearing up the dance floor can be great fun, but there comes a time when nothing seems as attractive as lasting companionship. Marriage, children, and real estate may not be everyone’s ideal, but almost all of us dream of the kind of substantial love that can drive, comfort, and nurture.

Unfortunately, the mounting pressure to get serious about commitment can be staggering—friends, family, society, and even our own partners can lead us to get hasty in our decision making. The choices you make must sincerely come from within, and once you’ve chosen the path to lasting companionship you’ll need a great deal of patience to guide you.

Just burning your little black book of telephone numbers won’t bring love leaping to your lap, and expecting as much may mislead you to mistake lust or friendship for the real deal. If you’re really ready for love, first make a pact with yourself:

I will find the love I deserve.

Now think deeply about how that love will feel. Try dropping superficial prejudices you may have developed over the years like those related to height, hair colour, or profession. Why not trade the trivial criteria for some rock-solid non-negotiables?

My partner will love me and accept my love.

My partner will share my hopes and fears.

My partner will make me laugh.

Setting aside minor preferences and opening your mind to new possibilities will actually help you avoid settling. On the contrary, settling occurs when we hold potential partners up to rigid standards and say no to great opportunities. Likewise, sticking with a partner who isn’t a great fit is a passive way of saying no to the possibility of true love.

Whilst you can’t put a rush on your romantic relationships, you can jumpstart your future by changing the relationship you have with romance. Ask yourself each day if you’ve really done everything in your power to find your perfect partner. What opportunities are there to meet other serious singles? Which chances do you take? Which chances do you ignore?

Respect yourself, believe in others, and take some chances! You’ll be on your way to finding the perfect partner . . . no settling required.

First Dates that Dazzle

Nothing compares to the excitement and romance of those first dates that really go right. Lively discussion, candid vulnerability, and learning all the things you have in common are the sweetest parts of falling in love, and there’s nothing like a truly great date to help sweep you both away. Here are some first date ideas to inspire sparks:

Make it 1 part original, 1 part traditional. Cliché first dates like dinner and a movie or cocktails and dancing rarely make for the most memorable encounters. Keep it fresh by choosing one activity that specifically suits both of your interests and end on a classic note like dessert at a posh bistro. This will give you a unique experience without sacrificing romance.

Pass on Happy Hour and favourite haunts. Drinking too much is never a turn-on and when the drinks are cheap people tend to overindulge to soothe anxious nerves. Also avoid places where you’re likely to run into friends, as having the home-field advantage will invariably leave your potential partner feeling a little defensive.

Re-imagine the single red rose. Show that you’re grateful for your date’s company by arriving for your date with a little gift. TopMatch Members have the distinct advantage of knowing a bit about their dates before setting out, and may even want to ask their personal Matchmakers for gift ideas. Don’t spend any more money than you would on flowers; instead let the thought determine the value. Fresh handpicked berries, found seashells, or used books are all sweet ideas for different personalities.

Go with the flow. Be ready to make changes along the way. If your picnic gets rained out, just duck into a cosy café for tea. If you miss a movie time, consider window-shopping at nearby stores. As long as the two of you keep a positive attitude, nothing will get in the way of a lovely time.

Give chitchat a chance. You needn’t divulge your deepest hopes and fears straight away, and chances are you won’t feel comfortable in so doing. Instead, ease into disclosure by chatting about the world around you. Planning a date that engenders conversation is easy and will relieve heaps of pressure later on. Consider sketching together in the park, taking your dogs for a trot, visiting a museum, or attending a wine tasting. Leisurely activity and shared hobbies always stimulate amusing conversation.

Don’t force romance. Dream dates rarely have much to do with champagne and ball gowns, so trying to impose a fantastical kind of romance is never a stellar idea. Lasting love begins with honesty and friendship, essential qualities that first date candlelit meals can often impede. Don’t jinx yourself by trying to live out a fantasy, instead opt for daytime dates, more casual attitudes, and plenty of laughter. Sweet nothings have their place, but that will come in good time.

Smile. It’s the simplest thing you can do to ace a first date. Smile genuinely and focus on being kind, not impressive.

Happy Dating!

Look First Date Great Without All the Fuss

Finding a date can be tough work and the date itself should be your reward, but many people view it as a whole new set of challenges. What to talk about? Where to go? How to end the night? Agonising over the details may not be helpful, but it is natural. Your best bet is to come prepared and just be confident, so to help ease your mind we’ve put together some fuss-free fashion tips to help you look your best! Look fabulous, and the rest will follow.

Wardrobe: Dress a step up from appropriate. You want to look comfortable (not careless), but excited (not overeager). First, figure out what you are doing and consider what you would normally wear. Going for a casual drink at the pub? Feel free to skip the cocktail dress or tie, but dress a little smarter than you would if you were meeting up with your mates. If you’re going to be more active, say on a walk or bike ride, pass on the fancy shoes and pick some sensible trainers. If you wear jeans, avoid anything torn, stained, or improperly fit. A handsome sweater or sparkling earrings can help dress up any outfit, but most of all wear something that flatters your figure as well as your personality.

Hair: Unless you’re attending a truly formal occasion, soft, natural hair looks best. Gents needn’t worry about plastering on the gel and ladies should avoid hair-sprayed helmet head. Men look best with a freshly washed, natural quaff, especially if they aren’t used to more intensive styling. Soft skin and a fresh shave earn bonus points, so keep it simple and don’t be afraid to moisturise (it’s manly). Women can get that naturally lovely look by blow-drying on low heat with a round brush and using light spray lotions or tonics instead of heavy mousses and hairsprays that tend to dry crispy. Both men and women can get great texture by styling with their fingers instead of a brush or comb.

Face: On a first date, less is more. You want to look warm and inviting, and wearing too much makeup makes it seem like you are hiding something. Ultimately, good hygiene prior to the date will leave you with a complexion to be proud of. For an added glow drink plenty of water the day of! Good hydration will prevent shadows or dullness in your skin. If you typically wear makeup, try using a tinted moisturizer for sheer, radiant coverage. Go light on eye makeup (which can look intimidating) and draw attention to your smile with a berry gloss.

Scent: Beware heavy colognes and perfumes. If the smell is strong enough for you to really notice, you’ve applied too much. Because too much perfume can cause discomfort (and even allergic reactions), you may consider a softer alternative. Shampoos, conditioners, and even deodorants come in any number of scents, and give you a subtle freshness that lasts through the day. If you do wear cologne or perfume, apply less than you think you need. You can also spray your hairbrush or finger tips instead and comb the fragrance right into your tresses.

Happy Dating!

Better with Age?

With life-expectancy stretching out most of us can feel good about pushing back on mid-life. Advances in medicine and science mean that proportionally, the springs and summers of our lives can last a whole lot longer. It’s not all good news though. Longer life means more time to accomplish those celebrated life milestones like marriage, landing the dream job, having children, and travelling the world, but there are those who see this as a chance to procrastinate, and most studies suggest those people are twenty-something men. In the 1960’s it was common for men to have accomplished many of their long-term life goals by age 30, whilst today less than a third of twenty-something males can say as much. Resembling the Lost Boys of Neverland, today’s young men frolic fancy-free from pub to club singing that they won’t ever have to grow up.

Women, on the other hand, are often doing just the opposite. As the playing field finally levels in favour of equality, most women can’t wait to get out and conquer the world. They grow up quick because they are driven and excited to take control of their own lives.

So what happens to twenty-something relationships? Or thirty-something relationships for that matter? If one partner wants to settle down and the other is ready for everything-but, what are the chances for healthy harmony? It should be noted that the tables are sometimes turned, with the woman wanting to live it up and the man wanting to get serious. Whatever the situation, these kinds of relationships are fated to fail. Yet, for whatever reason, innumerable men and women still say that age is one of the factors they weigh most when seeking a partner.

Older men tend to have more direction, more stability, and more sense of self. For every twenty-something man raring to talk about booze and women there is a forty-something man who will show genuine interest in the arts, the world, and the people he is with. True adults communicate more clearly because they don’t tend to worry so much about being impressive (or being exposed as otherwise). As far as older women are concerned, they offer the same kind of mature confidence and are often significantly more passionate than girls half their age.

Getting over personal prejudices about age might open the door to lasting love, or at least stimulating conversation. Why not leave Peter Pan to fairy tales and open your mind to a real Happily Ever After?

Happy Dating!