What Makes a Match?

Part art, part science, matchmaking is a process that relies as much on feeling as it does on fact. So what exactly makes a perfect pair? It's a question we hear a lot at TopMatch and as you may imagine, there simply isn't an easy answer. Call it chemistry or "that special something," this is the one factor that can rarely be predicted and is impossible to manufacture, and it's typically what makes or breaks a great love. And, whilst we can't promise eternal romance on every introduction, we know the trends of attraction and compatibility front-to-back, inside out, and upside down. So if you're looking for the perfect partner, here are some expert tips:

Opposites may attract, but exact opposites just attract conflict. Ideally your perfect partner won't also be your sparring partner. Disagreements are natural, and there's nothing better than a partner who can challenge you to grow, but without certain similarities, mutual respect can be hard to find. We build respect on common ground, which can be found in shared passions, ideals, or philosophies. It's fine to bicker over the radio dial or movie choice, but opposing values can ruin more than a single date.

For the most part, lifestyle matters. Background, education, and income don't have to be deal-breakers, but the more similar a couple's lifestyles, the less adjusting has to take place. If you're ideal evening includes a thick book and red wine, you may end up compromising too often if your partner likes loud clubs and loaded cocktails. Try new things, just don't date someone whose lifestyle tries your patience.

It's just fine to admit attraction is important. Romantic relationships need a healthy helping of physical attraction. Even if the initial attraction isn't overwhelming it's perfectly possible for physical attraction to grow from emotional attraction. However, forcing an attraction almost always ends in disappointment. That's why it's best to be honest with yourself from the start and admit that some relationships are best left in the platonic stages.

Happy Dating!

One Moment to Steal a Heart

Want to make a flawless first impression?

It only takes a mere moment to evaluate your date—appearance, posture, and attitude can speak volumes. Of course in that moment, you are sending off signals of your own. Whilst first impressions aren’t always accurate, they certainly do last and often make or break the overall success of a first date.

Making a great first impression is as simple as being prepared. If you show up on time, looking and feeling good, you’ll be halfway to victory. Punctuality and smart attire prove that you view the occasion as important and demonstrate a sense of responsibility.

To really make an impact, try turning up the charm. This doesn’t require any tired lines or expensive drinks, only that you try your best to make your date feel appreciated. Look for a sincere compliment to deliver that is not based on a physical attribute and be a great listener. Act as if you are speaking to a friend with whom you already have a sense of rapport—don’t pretend to be anyone but yourself.

Honesty and positivity will never let you down. Even if you disagree with your date, a positive attitude will foster an atmosphere of mutual respect. Don’t worry about being right, just focus on learning about one another. Complaining about your job, the food, or people you’ve dated in the past will only make you seem high maintenance.

Say your date’s name a few times throughout the evening. Most people take it as a huge compliment to be addressed by name in our increasingly anonymous society. Be careful though! Dropping the wrong name could very well undermine even the best first impression.

Happy Dating!

Dating on a Shoestring

As long as your heart is made of gold, your pocketbook doesn’t have to be. Here are some fun date ideas for anyone watching their spending.

Movie Marathon

With the right snacks and comfy seating, a movie marathon can be a splendid way to get to know someone. Alternate between personal favourites to get a sense of your date’s taste and show off your own. Suitable for any season, the Movie Marathon can be enhanced with cocoa and holiday classics, or candy corn and slasher flicks.

Picnic

Weather permitting; a picnic can be far more romantic than a five-course meal from an overpriced menu. Wine and a sunset view invoke timeless romance, but don’t fret if you get rained out. You can always put on an indoor picnic with a big blanket and lots of glowing candles.

Free Museum Days

Most museums offer discount or free admission on special days and great art can be the perfect inspiration for great love. Also look out for gallery openings and artist’s receptions that are frequently free (and that includes champagne)!

Cooking Together

Even if you’re not a whiz in the kitchen, cooking a meal together can be a wonderful way to bond. Ask your date to bring a favourite recipe to share and offer to whip up a dessert you know you can handle. Blend sincere compliments with an easygoing attitude to yield a good glimpse of domestic bliss.

Potlucks with Friends and Family

If you’ve already been out on a few successful dates, consider attending or hosting a potluck with some friends or family. Introducing your date to the special people in your life will prove that you’re serious about the relationship and give you the chance to see how everyone gets on together.

Cheap Seats

Theatres often provide free tickets to anyone willing to show up an hour or two early to usher. Whilst unpaid labour may not seem romantic, it can be fun if your companion is an arts supporter who loves to volunteer. You can also get tickets for next-to-nothing by attending closing matinee or weekday showings.

Dying to try out some of these ideas? Start meeting new people NOW with a TopMatch Membership!

Convenient at a Cost: The Personal Price of Almost-Blind Online Dating

Nothing beats the convenience of online dating, right? But what about the security? If you’ve ever browsed the profiles of traditional online dating networks, you’ve probably been amazed at the number of single, attractive, captivating people committed to finding love. Then again, if you’ve ever accepted a date with one of these virtual Helens or Adonises, you’ve likely had a rude awakening to the reality of online dating: people lie. Call it fudging, stretching the truth, or personal optimism, but any way you spin it, you can’t be too cautious when looking for love online.

Here’s what to watch out for:

The best of intentions? When it comes to defining romance, every individual has his or her own take. Unfortunately, it can be hard to gauge what kind of relationship people are looking for by just glancing at a profile. Someone looking for long-term love may pretend to be more flexible so as not to scare off any prospects, whilst someone looking for a night or two of companionship may act a bit more serious so as not to offend. Of course, someone seeking a fling is certainly not the worst of it, as it’s also possible for a virtual dreamboat to be nothing more than a con artist.

Describe yourself . . . If you’ve ever listened to a mate whine about her figure or gloat about her intelligence, you know that most people have a hard time seeing themselves objectively. Describing yourself for an online profile is never easy, even if you have every intention of being honest. That’s why trying to sift through delusional profiles can be a pretty fruitless chore. If someone admits to being quirky, does it mean they like obscure foreign sci-fi films, or are they a full-on space case? How about assertive? Does that make them a go-getter or a total hot head? Is it worth finding out?

You’re how old? You can’t put an age on romance, but you can’t put much faith in people who lie about their age either. Unless your potential partner is holding up a current newspaper in their profile picture, don’t be too sure that the snapshot (or the age listed below it) is current.

Beware of Photoshop! Lighting, makeup, and composition can do a lot to flatter in photos, and now with modern technology there’s nothing about a picture that can’t be changed at the click of a mouse. Wrinkles and extra inches can be dissolved instantly whilst hair, dimples, and desired curves can magically appear. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but there’s no guarantee any of them will be accurate.

Single – it’s not a grey area. Being unhappily married or newly separated is not, and never will be, the same thing as single. If it’s too complicated to be straightforward, it’s probably to complicate to involve someone else. If a relationship status ever seems questionable, just say sayonara.

At TopMatch, we applaud anyone smart enough to get proactive in the search for love, but we want you to be safe. That’s why we personally meet with and identify every potential Member – we work with Members to write profiles that are appealing and always accurate. If you’ve had enough with the online dating lottery, why not schedule a free consultation?

Happy Dating!