Taking Sides? Single vs. Attached

According to the General Household Survey, the number of single females has more than doubled over the past three decades. Empowered women everywhere seem to realise that their value needn’t be defined by marriage. Whilst the single woman may face less stigma than ever before (cheers!), I often wonder how new tensions and prejudices shape our ideas about long-term commitments.

Some of us see relationship commitment as an enemy to individuality. As one Dating Blog reader puts it, “I’ve known people who change so much of who they are for the sake of their partners—if I can’t be married and be me, then I’d rather be single and free.”

For men and women, relationships shouldn’t come at the cost of our individuality. Yet somehow, society seems to have manufactured a myth where marriages either consume, or destroy. Over drinks the other night, a single mate said to me, “It’s nearly impossible to stay close with married friends—their stories, their lives just put me to sleep.”

Counterpoint? My married friend Chris says, “Ah but those blokes (single friends) just want to drink and be wild, don’t they? At some point, you’ve got to admit there is more to life.”

On either end, there’s not a pretty picture in sight. But is the outlook truly so bleak? Have we simply learned to fear the unfamiliar? Or more likely, trained ourselves to rule out what seems unattainable?

So what if we could focus on the things we have in common instead? We all want to feel loved, but we all want to succeed and be judged by our own merits. Having it both ways just isn’t astrophysics. In fact, to prove it, I’m providing a handy acronym.

Friends—Fall in love, but never fall out of touch with your mates.
Respect—Give, Take, Listen, and Hear. A one-way street is not worth the stroll.
Excitement—Stay open to adventure. Travel, plan outings alone, and try new things together.
Empathy—Don’t judge singles and don’t judge relationships. Just be blissfully happy with the love you have.

Have your own opinions on commitment and individuality? Tell us about it in the comments.