How to Stay Positive in New Relationships

New relationships can wreak havoc on your emotional stability. From first date jitters to long-term doubts, there’s plenty of opportunity for worry. But what if this time, in this relationship, you were able to master your anxieties and simply enjoy the journey of falling in love? The very simple trick is to remember that you are in control of your feelings in every situation.

The first date is often the most emotionally tying, and can seem more difficult the more you want it to go right. That’s because too many of us expect our dates to play out as ideal fantasies, but honestly, where’s the adventure in that? Try to control every detail of the date and you’ll see the stress pile up as things don’t go to plan.

Holidays, first meetings with parents and friends, and discussions about commitment and the future are some other major stressors to early dating. Try to micro-manage a gathering or set deadlines for commitment milestones and you’ll let anxiety rule the relationship.

Controlling your worries starts with a proper approach. Remember, the word romance once meant adventure as much as it did love. A new relationship is exciting, so why not enjoy the excitement instead of struggling against it? Embrace the journey and everything it brings by telling yourself: I am happy to have found someone special and I appreciate this adventure.

Being in charge of your emotions also means letting go of negativity. When our current relationship feels unsteady, our minds tend to recklessly leap to painful memories from our past. Always keep in mind, this current relationship is a brand new slate—if you have made mistakes in your past, this is your chance to prove you’ve grown, and if you were once badly hurt, remember that this is not the relationship that hurt you. The past is not your future.

Ultimately, you must try to focus on the bigger picture of the situation. You are dating someone great who might just turn out to be your perfect partner. Why is that important to you? What do you have to gain? What have you already gained? Focus less on what there is to lose and you’ll find that the little things that might go wrong probably just don’t matter.

Happy Dating!