Anxiety Can Destroy Relationships … Or It Can Bring You Together
We’ve all been around someone who is anxious, worrisome, or having a particularly bad day? These people can be difficult to be around. They’re very good at elevating simple disagreements into serious arguments.
This is especially common in dating and marriage relationships, where the two people know each other particularly well. When one person is having a bad day, it’s easy to take it out on the other person.
If you find yourself in the same room as someone who is anxious or having a bad day, should you run away? Or is there something you can do to help them out?
Often, all it takes for you to help that person is to give them a good word. What is a good word? Well, it can be as simple as saying, “I’ve been thinking about you.” Or you can give a word of encouragement. Better yet, sit and listen to them. Sometimes all people need is someone to talk to for a little bit. Your few words won’t mean nearly as much as your willingness to give them a little time.
If you don’t know what word or words to use, think about what anxiety is – it’s an emotional response to a perceived danger. It’s fear of some problem or calamity coming against us. So if someone is anxious, they think something bad is about to happen. The reason they are anxious is because they have a natural desire to protect themselves from that danger.
Many times there’s also a sense of discouragement or a lack of confidence. When that’s the case, a word of encouragement can go a long way. Even better, remind them of a time in the past when they overcame a similar problem. Then encourage them to think about that for a little while. Simply thinking about past successes can encourage someone who is anxious.
As I said earlier, anxiety is a response. There’s nothing wrong with the underlying emotions. The problem is the response to the situation. In most cases of anxiety, the emotions have taken over and the person isn’t thinking. And when they’re not thinking, they’re not problem solving. So they inevitably make poor decisions and end up doing themselves more harm than good.
If you’re in a position where a friend, family member, or significant other is anxious, a good word is something that will help them respond properly to the situation. They may still have fear or other emotions, but you can help them think. Usually the best way to do that is through a series of questions that help them come up with their own answers. Telling them what to do will come across as preaching at them or scolding.
But if you can ask questions about the situation where the answers lead the person to the right conclusion, you encourage them to think and come up with the response on their own. You essentially help them come up with the solution to the problem. Anxiety weighs us down because it destroys our hope. But asking the right questions, or saying a good word can restore that hope and make the heart glad.
(Steve Kroening is the publisher of http://www.wisdomsedge.com/)
This is especially common in dating and marriage relationships, where the two people know each other particularly well. When one person is having a bad day, it’s easy to take it out on the other person.
If you find yourself in the same room as someone who is anxious or having a bad day, should you run away? Or is there something you can do to help them out?
Often, all it takes for you to help that person is to give them a good word. What is a good word? Well, it can be as simple as saying, “I’ve been thinking about you.” Or you can give a word of encouragement. Better yet, sit and listen to them. Sometimes all people need is someone to talk to for a little bit. Your few words won’t mean nearly as much as your willingness to give them a little time.
If you don’t know what word or words to use, think about what anxiety is – it’s an emotional response to a perceived danger. It’s fear of some problem or calamity coming against us. So if someone is anxious, they think something bad is about to happen. The reason they are anxious is because they have a natural desire to protect themselves from that danger.
Many times there’s also a sense of discouragement or a lack of confidence. When that’s the case, a word of encouragement can go a long way. Even better, remind them of a time in the past when they overcame a similar problem. Then encourage them to think about that for a little while. Simply thinking about past successes can encourage someone who is anxious.
As I said earlier, anxiety is a response. There’s nothing wrong with the underlying emotions. The problem is the response to the situation. In most cases of anxiety, the emotions have taken over and the person isn’t thinking. And when they’re not thinking, they’re not problem solving. So they inevitably make poor decisions and end up doing themselves more harm than good.
If you’re in a position where a friend, family member, or significant other is anxious, a good word is something that will help them respond properly to the situation. They may still have fear or other emotions, but you can help them think. Usually the best way to do that is through a series of questions that help them come up with their own answers. Telling them what to do will come across as preaching at them or scolding.
But if you can ask questions about the situation where the answers lead the person to the right conclusion, you encourage them to think and come up with the response on their own. You essentially help them come up with the solution to the problem. Anxiety weighs us down because it destroys our hope. But asking the right questions, or saying a good word can restore that hope and make the heart glad.
(Steve Kroening is the publisher of http://www.wisdomsedge.com/)
posted by TM at
11:50
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