The First Date
People often ask how they should act on a first date. What should they say? What should they avoid?
The truth is that every date is different – because we are all different – but there are some fundamental truths that you should always bear in mind.
There is little point in pretending to be something, or someone, that you are not. If the relationship is going to last beyond the first date it has to be because he or she likes YOU. So be yourself. Be the polite, charming and eloquent version of yourself – but don’t lie about your past or your present. If the relationship grows you’ll be found out.
It’s a cliché – but first impressions do count. So….
Don’t be late.. If something crops up that is beyond your control – call. Whatever your mother told you ladies - on a first date there is no such thing as “fashionably late”.
What you wear is always tricky – especially for women. Be careful not to over-dress or under-dress. Make sure you know the venue, find out what the acceptable / expected dress code is.
Don’t drink too much. Being drunk is rarely an attractive feature and drinking too much will always give the wrong impression.
Listen more than you talk. Talking non-stop about yourself is one of the most common mistakes on a first date.
We all get nervous – and sometimes that can make us talk too much to fill the awkward gaps in the conversation. But avoid it.
Fill the gaps by asking your date to tell you about them. Listen. Be interested. And see if you have anything in common that you can build on.
Do not discuss previous relationships. If your date asks about them be brief. Never be critical or disrespectful about previous partners at this stage – however you may feel about them.
Mobile phones can be a curse as well as a blessing. Turn your phone off. Or at worst put it on to vibrate. Do not take calls. Do not read or respond to texts. Your date should be the most important person in the room. If you have no option but to take a business call tell your date in advance that you are expecting it. Apologise before and after the call. And keep it brief.
Compliment your date. Don’t overdo it, but pay them a simple and genuine compliment.
Don’t talk about money. It doesn’t matter, on this occasion, whether you have it or not. It’s never a good subject to discuss on a first date.
Don’t be rude to anyone. Whether it’s the staff at the restaurant or cinema. A work colleague you bump into. A friend. Be nice to everyone. Don’t be rude or sarcastic – even in jest.
Don’t build the date or the relationship up in your head too much. It’s a first date. Don’t go into it thinking that this MUST be the one. Don’t go into it thinking it’s destined to be a failure.
It’s a first date. No More. No Less. Relax, enjoy it and see where it takes you.
The truth is that every date is different – because we are all different – but there are some fundamental truths that you should always bear in mind.
There is little point in pretending to be something, or someone, that you are not. If the relationship is going to last beyond the first date it has to be because he or she likes YOU. So be yourself. Be the polite, charming and eloquent version of yourself – but don’t lie about your past or your present. If the relationship grows you’ll be found out.
It’s a cliché – but first impressions do count. So….
Don’t be late.. If something crops up that is beyond your control – call. Whatever your mother told you ladies - on a first date there is no such thing as “fashionably late”.
What you wear is always tricky – especially for women. Be careful not to over-dress or under-dress. Make sure you know the venue, find out what the acceptable / expected dress code is.
Don’t drink too much. Being drunk is rarely an attractive feature and drinking too much will always give the wrong impression.
Listen more than you talk. Talking non-stop about yourself is one of the most common mistakes on a first date.
We all get nervous – and sometimes that can make us talk too much to fill the awkward gaps in the conversation. But avoid it.
Fill the gaps by asking your date to tell you about them. Listen. Be interested. And see if you have anything in common that you can build on.
Do not discuss previous relationships. If your date asks about them be brief. Never be critical or disrespectful about previous partners at this stage – however you may feel about them.
Mobile phones can be a curse as well as a blessing. Turn your phone off. Or at worst put it on to vibrate. Do not take calls. Do not read or respond to texts. Your date should be the most important person in the room. If you have no option but to take a business call tell your date in advance that you are expecting it. Apologise before and after the call. And keep it brief.
Compliment your date. Don’t overdo it, but pay them a simple and genuine compliment.
Don’t talk about money. It doesn’t matter, on this occasion, whether you have it or not. It’s never a good subject to discuss on a first date.
Don’t be rude to anyone. Whether it’s the staff at the restaurant or cinema. A work colleague you bump into. A friend. Be nice to everyone. Don’t be rude or sarcastic – even in jest.
Don’t build the date or the relationship up in your head too much. It’s a first date. Don’t go into it thinking that this MUST be the one. Don’t go into it thinking it’s destined to be a failure.
It’s a first date. No More. No Less. Relax, enjoy it and see where it takes you.
At the beginning I said that first impressions count – and they do. However I am now going to completely contradict myself.
It is natural to be nervous on a first date- more so if you have not dated for a while. Your date will be feeling the same. So bear that in mind. Don’t be too quick to judge. Don’t rush to conclusions. Give them a chance.
There’s not much here that’s not common sense. There is certainly nothing complicated.
So bear it all in mind. Don’t get too hung up on it.
And enjoy the date!
Robbie Burns
Robbie Burns
posted by TM at
16:49
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