A Little Less Conversation

Knowing what to say when you’re on a first date can be tricky.. It’s easy to get lost in the moment and stray into the wrong territory. I know a gentleman who, very nervous on his first date, spoke at length about his fascination for Oriental women. Bad enough. Worse when he discovered that his date’s ex- husband had left her to be with an Asian bride.

So here are some simple tips on conversation for the first couple of dates. What topics should be safe – and what to steer clear of.

Keep the conversation mostly about your partner. People like to talk about themselves.

Keep the tone of the conversation light – it should be a conversation – not an inquisition. If you sense a reluctance to answer a specific question – don’t push – move on to something else.

Try to encourage your date to talk about things that excite them. People feel good when they talk about things that mean a lot to them – things they are passionate about. It often helps them to relax.

Try to make your date feel good abut themselves. If you can make them feel better than they did at the start of the date you are halfway there.

Don’t talk about money, previous partners, politics or sex. And don’t come across too needy – talking about your ideal wedding on a first date is unlikely to lead to a second date.

Men – Humour is great, but use it wisely. Most men are only ever one stupid joke or comment away from ruining everything!! So don’t be crude or sarcastic – and don’t make fun of your date.
If you talk about yourself all the time you’ll sound arrogant, self obsessed and patronising. A friend once told me about a first date experience that sums this up.

Her date was taking her to a restaurant about forty minutes drive away. For the entire journey he spoke non – stop about his hobbies, his career, his ambitions, his car, football, his choice of hair products….and so on.

Finally they arrived at the restaurant and were seated.

"Enough about me.” He said “Let's talk about you."

Finally she thought..

Until he said… "What do you think about me?"

Needless to say – there was a long and silent car journey home – and no second date.

Robert Burns