A Conversation with Nora Leach, TopMatch Co-Founder

The Dating Blog recently interviewed TopMatch Co-Founder and expert matchmaker Nora Leach. Here’s what she had to say:

Dating Blog: We often use the term “perfect partner” at TopMatch. What exactly do those words mean to you?

Nora Leach: The term “perfect partner” nicely sums up what it is we are all looking for in love. Perfect doesn’t mean that the person is flawless, rather that this person, in all of his or her flaws and vulnerabilities, is the perfect compliment to you. A perfect partner supports you, loves you, and challenges you to be your very best, every single day, whilst allowing you to be yourself. A perfect partner is the one with whom you have the least compromises to make – being realistic, we all have to make a few!

DB: Worldwide, people see you as a relationship expert. Can you tell us a little about the education and life experiences that made you such a wonderful matchmaker?

NL: I've many years of personal experience helping individuals from all parts of the world meet their perfect companions. I am a business professional, so I travel extensively for work and my own pleasure and using my 6 different languages and meeting so many diverse people, has taught me to quickly understand an individual’s strengths and desires.

My natural interests in human relationships lead me to earn a Master Degree in Psychology. I think that combining my emotional and rational sensibilities has made me a successful matchmaker today.

DB: Do you consider yourself a romantic? Do you think professional introductions can still be romantic?

NL: Absolutely. I am very romantic in that I believe in real love. I believe that everyone deserves a love that lasts and grows over time. Being proactive or realistic with your relationship goals in no way undermines the real romance that can develop from professional introductions. In fact, I’m proud to say that some of the most loving couples I know met through TopMatch.

DB: In your opinion, what is the best first date activity?

NL: Anything that helps you be yourself. Finding an activity and atmosphere that allow for real conversation and a little fun will ensure your date is a success. I certainly recommend evening dates to create a less ‘business lunch’ atmosphere. I think it’s always nice to plan a little, as in dinner reservations, and then leave something up to chance, like opting for an after-dinner stroll through town.

DB: What is your favourite aspect of running TopMatch?

NL: I feel great about what we do. We provide a service that allows people to find ultimate happiness, and in a hectic, sometimes isolated world, lasting connections are priceless. Having the opportunity to use my natural talents each day in such a positive way is a dream come true. Reading the many letters we receive from successful matches makes the work extremely rewarding and worthwhile.

How to Stay Positive in New Relationships

New relationships can wreak havoc on your emotional stability. From first date jitters to long-term doubts, there’s plenty of opportunity for worry. But what if this time, in this relationship, you were able to master your anxieties and simply enjoy the journey of falling in love? The very simple trick is to remember that you are in control of your feelings in every situation.

The first date is often the most emotionally tying, and can seem more difficult the more you want it to go right. That’s because too many of us expect our dates to play out as ideal fantasies, but honestly, where’s the adventure in that? Try to control every detail of the date and you’ll see the stress pile up as things don’t go to plan.

Holidays, first meetings with parents and friends, and discussions about commitment and the future are some other major stressors to early dating. Try to micro-manage a gathering or set deadlines for commitment milestones and you’ll let anxiety rule the relationship.

Controlling your worries starts with a proper approach. Remember, the word romance once meant adventure as much as it did love. A new relationship is exciting, so why not enjoy the excitement instead of struggling against it? Embrace the journey and everything it brings by telling yourself: I am happy to have found someone special and I appreciate this adventure.

Being in charge of your emotions also means letting go of negativity. When our current relationship feels unsteady, our minds tend to recklessly leap to painful memories from our past. Always keep in mind, this current relationship is a brand new slate—if you have made mistakes in your past, this is your chance to prove you’ve grown, and if you were once badly hurt, remember that this is not the relationship that hurt you. The past is not your future.

Ultimately, you must try to focus on the bigger picture of the situation. You are dating someone great who might just turn out to be your perfect partner. Why is that important to you? What do you have to gain? What have you already gained? Focus less on what there is to lose and you’ll find that the little things that might go wrong probably just don’t matter.

Happy Dating!

Should You Multitask When Looking for Love?

With more than 1,000 online dating sites on the Internet, is it better to try your luck with many? Before you start multitasking in matchmaking, consider the top three reasons to avoid spreading yourself thin on the web.

Security
Even if you use a couple services that carefully screen clients and protect your information, you completely undermine that caution when you freely post personal details in less secure networks. Once your information becomes available, there is no way to regulate who uses it and how. Be safe all the time by choosing the dating network that makes you feel most secure.

Morale
If you know what you are looking for, why submit your name and information in a pool of people with mismatched values? In extremely large dating sites, there are typically so many kinds of people seeking so many kinds of encounters that it often seems more of a lottery than a strategy. If you know what kind of relationship and what kind of person you are seeking, find a site that attracts and caters to those people. Otherwise, the grind of sifting through unwanted solicitations or unkind rejections may start to dampen your outlook. When you meet your perfect partner, don’t you want to seem fresh and excited?

Efficiency
In advertising, any press is good press—the more exposure, the better. But do you really want to treat yourself like a human billboard? Simply put, you are not a product. Every individual is complex with unique needs and offerings. Even if you find free services or trial offers, think of the time and energy you spend creating and maintaining profiles, and how often they’ve lead to success. What if you had spent that time at the gym, learning a new language, or reading a wonderful book? When the time came to meet up for a date you’d have so much to talk about and be proud of. The best service will work to find you a true match, not give you a household name.

Don’t compromise—just find the dating network that feels like your perfect match.

Happy Dating!